Life is usually busy for me because I’m currently working full time and attending Grad school full time. But this last semester, I took 14 units as a grad student. This meant I was at work from 8 AM to 5 PM and then at school from 6 PM to 10 PM almost every day, plus Saturday class sometimes. I started the semester in January knowing that it was going to be very busy and that I wasn’t going to have much of a social life. I was planning to block out the world to focus on school for only four months. However, life doesn’t always go according to plan.
In these last four months, there have been two deaths, my dad was in the hospital, my cousin had health issues, a family member was struggling with depression, a family friend was in the hospital, and my best friend of 20 years was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yeah, life didn’t go according to plan.
All of these life battles were happening to people that I loved dearly. I think the hardest part was knowing these loved ones were in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t do anything to change any of these situations and I just kept worrying.
When I first found out about all these trials, I’ll admit I tried to handle it all myself. I rearranged my schedule for the funerals, hospital visits, and home visits, trying to be there for my loved ones that were hurting. But once my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer, I just couldn’t handle it. She was 26 when she was diagnosed and I just couldn’t understand why this was happening to this beautiful young woman. It didn’t make sense to me and it was hard for me to accept that there was nothing I could do to help her. I wanted to be there for her every single day, supporting her through her treatment. But unfortunately my schedule and the distance of her home didn’t allow me to be there for her like I wanted to.
It was at that moment that I really had to rely on God to take care of everything. I couldn’t physically be there every day for any of those who were hurting and I couldn’t change their situation, so I had to rely on God to be there. I had to constantly remind myself that all I could do was pray and trust that God had a plan (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Honestly, having this mentality was very hard for me because I’m the type of person who wants to handle everything myself. But the more I put my trust in God, the more I saw Him in the lives of my loved ones. For example, I have seen God throughout my best friend’s entire treatment. He was bringing in the money she needed, providing the support she needed, and shrinking the cancer during treatment. It’s in these amazing moments that we’re reminded that God is with us (Joshua 1:5, Isaiah 43:2).
In a perfect world, bad things wouldn’t happen to good people, or maybe we’d at least know why bad things happened in the first place. But unfortunately, we don’t have all the answers and worrying about a situation is not going to change the circumstance. However, we can ask God to show His presence in every battle, and show His comfort (2 Cor1:4-5). In my experience, I think we can be more at peace letting God take control, trusting that He has a purpose, and place everything in His hands.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” – Romans 15:13